Breaking up with someone you love is hard. But breaking up with someone you live with may seem more complicated and tricky.
It’s common for people to want to break up but no one moves out. The short answer is don’t wait for the other person to move out. You have to take the first step and move out.
Take The First Step and Move Out
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed with guilt. You may think the other person needs you, can’t live without you, or is going to fall apart once you leave. These are excuses you’re telling yourself. These excuses are what is keeping you from moving out. When you are holding yourself back with such excuses, it usually falls under the category of pathological altruism.
Pathological altruism is when you help somebody at the expense of your own happiness. This is a setup for disaster. When you help somebody else at the expense of yourself, resentment builds up and eventually blows up.
Do yourself a favor, and look after yourself. This is not selfish, it’s called being an adult, and doing what you need to do for yourself, and moving out.
If you don’t want to be in the relationship anymore, It’s not fair to the other person to drag it out. Dragging it out is not only preventing you from moving on, but it’s also preventing the other person from moving on. It’s not fair to you, and it’s not fair to the other person. They’re an adult and they’ll be able to handle it like an adult. Breaking up with someone is hard, breaking up with someone you live with may seem harder, and there will be emotions involved.
Moving on Includes Ending The Friendship
If you want to learn how to how to stop thinking about your ex, you’ll have to end the friendship. So many people think it’s a good idea to stay friends with their ex, but it’s not. Whoever initiated the breakup is torturing the other person by trying to stay friends. Staying friends gives the other person hope that things may work out someday. If the other person initiated the breakup, you’re only hurting yourself by staying friends.
Staying friends with an ex will also hurt the people you end up being with. It will hurt whoever your ex ends up with and whoever you end up with. It’s very painful for someone to try and process whether you want to be with an ex, no matter how you explain it. This is just setting yourself up for a problem, to avoid the problem, end the friendship.
Do Not Talk About Your Ex with Your Next Partner
If someone asks you about your ex, it’s a test. They want to know how you handled it, not what happened. Try not to make the mistake of thinking they want to hear about the drama. What they really want to hear is a balanced approach to what happened. Sharing the blame is the healthiest most balanced approach to take.
Are you struggling with breaking up with someone you live with? If so, reach out and ask questions!
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