You've been the calm one. The kind one. The "fix it" one. And you're still losing.
You don’t yell.
You don’t start fights.
You give them space.
You try to cheer them up, keep the peace, go with the flow.
And yet…
You still feel blamed.
You still feel alone.
You still don’t know what the hell went wrong.
It's not you.
You’ve just been using tools that were never meant for the complexity of emotional conflict. Being kind isn’t the problem.
But beingtoo kind, too accommodating, too perfect? That’s what quietly erodes connection.
You weren’t wrong for trying. You were misled by an outdated idea of what it means to be a “good partner.”
They Told You to Be Calm, Kind, and Avoid Conflict. That's the Problem.
Being agreeable isn't intimacy.
Being selfless isn't strength.
Being silent isn't safe.
You’ve been told the way to keep love is to sacrifice yourself.
What if the truth is the opposite?
This isn't therapy. It's not a communication trick. It's Dr. Dabney's Emotional Disarmament Method— a science-based strategy for identifying toxic "green flags" and reclaiming your power without overexposure or shame.
What Happens When You Stop Performing Emotional CPR and That's the Problem.
1
One client stopped being the emotional babysitter and finally felt heard in a conversation that used to end in slammed doors.
2
Another let go of years of cheerleading and their partner said,“This is the first time I’ve felt like we were in this together.”
3
One woman said,“Now I know why my ex left and how not to repeat it again.”
This isn’t a motivational talk. It’s a lens you didn’t know you were missing.